Pinecones and Glitter
by Tribbith
Summary: "I ate a pinecone once," Finn spluttered - cue a Rachel Berry laughing fit and a little creative thinking.


**This one-shot is dedicated to my Glee family and to Kenz, who once ate a pinecone, and who has forever doomed me to spontaneous laughing fits because of such an occurrence. The glitter? Let's just say that the shiny stuff isn't really my friend.**

**I'm not sure when this is set, but still, it's a bit of fluff that is pointless and fun; enjoy! Reviews are really really appreciated, and an update of Jigsaw should happen within the week ^^**

**Disclaimer: Though I own an insane amount of Glee merchandise, I don't own the actual show, so I'll have to make do with small blessings.**

Rachel loved the park, and she loved it even more when she was accompanied by her tall, handsome boyfriend, because honestly, there was nothing as relaxing as enjoying a gentle breeze with her hand in his, watching him in admiration while he-

"Finn, what are you doing?"

Finn looked guiltily over at Rachel, who was eying him in suspicion. "What? I'm not doing anything."

She narrowed her eyes and folded her arms with a small sigh. "I'm not blind. In fact, I have excellent eyesight, and I can clearly see that you're staring at a pinecone with what I can only describe as hunger." She raised an eyebrow. "Am I right?"

"No...?" Finn shoved the pinecone in the pocket of his pants and shrugged. "I was just looking at it 'cause they're supposed to be lucky." He forced an awkward grin in an attempt to make Rachel drop the subject, but if anything, she looked even more judgemental and stuff.

"Of _course_ you were." She flicked her hair with her hand, then made a sniffing noise that Finn knew meant one thing; she was going to go into ranty mode. "I don't see why you always have to-"

"I ate a pinecone once," Finn spluttered. He really wasn't in the mood for one of Rachel's big speeches about how he 'never listened' and how he 'didn't care about the little things in life' or some crap (he wasn't really sure what she complained about most of the time 'cause he didn't really pay attention).

"Excuse me?"

Finn pursed his lips and shrugged again. "I ate a pinecone once." He watched Rachel curiously, waiting for her to moan about pinecone feelings or something, but instead, her lip wobbled, her shoulders shook, and Finn was sure that she was going to burst into tears; oh _shit_.

"F-F-F-Finn..." She bowed her head and pressed her hands to her mouth, and Finn felt like an utter _douche bag! _He knew Rachel was sensitive about her vegan stuff, and he should have just stayed quiet about the whole thing!

"Crap, Rachel, I'm really sorry, I-" She snorted loudly, which made Finn jump and reach his hand out to her shoulder. "Baby, I didn't mean to upset you."

Rachel looked up at him, tears streaming down her face, and when she opened her mouth, a loud, hysterical laugh fell from her lips. "Y-y-y-you ate a p-p-p-p-pinecone?" she giggled breathlessly. Finn nodded in silence, which only made Rachel laugh even more. "M-m-m-my stomach hurts b-b-b-but I c-c-c-an't-" She fell back onto the blanket in another fit of giggles, leaving Finn with a faint blush on his cheeks and a crease between his eyebrows.

"Wait... what?" He shook his head in an attempt to shake away his confusion 'cause why the hell was she laughing so hard? "It was just a pinecone..."

Rachel wiped her tears away with the back of her hand and hiccupped with an amused smile. "You ate a pinecone? Finn, I-" Hiccup. "I didn't think it was possible for me to-" Hiccup. "Love you even more than I already-" Hiccup, and then Rachel giggled again because the image in her head was insanely adorable.

"Well, yeah, but when I was like... eight or something." He rolled his eyes slightly at the memory 'cause it wasn't _that_ funny. In fact, he wasn't really sure how it was funny at _all._ "I saw a cow eat one and I figured that if a cow could do it, so could I."

Even though he didn't really get it, Finn couldn't deny the fact that a laughing Rachel was one of the best Rachels of all (not that there was more than one Rachel, but whatever, he knew what he meant). Her laugh was really infectious, and even though she was pretty all of the time, she was _beautiful_ when she laughed.

Still, she was laughing at him and his douchey younger self, and he wasn't really sure if that was a good thing. Instead of questioning it though, Finn decided to just embrace the fact that he had her in hysterics, 'cause the sound of her giggling was like music to his ears.

"I chewed it up really good!" he said in the dumbest voice he could muster.

Bingo. As soon as the words left his mouth, Rachel was doubled over in laughter, and Finn couldn't stop himself from joining her, even if he didn't understand the punch line.

"F-F-F-Finn!" she squealed, holding her hand to her chest as she gasped for breath, "I can't, you, oh... my... gosh..." Rachel slowly managed to control her breathing after Finn planted a few perfectly placed kisses on her neck, and once she felt his hand creep up her waist, she was sober enough to know that they were _not_ going to have sex in the middle of the park during the day. She playfully pushed him away and rolled him onto his back, and while her fingers traced circles across his arm, she gave him a huge smile because she _loved_ him. "Nice try, but it wasn't _that_ funny."

Finn stuck his tongue out at her (and Rachel actually felt her knees go weak at the sight of it) before he shrugged and pulled the pinecone from his pocket. "I don't get the big deal. Yeah, okay, kids don't normally eat pinecones I guess." He glanced towards Rachel, who was biting her lip in an effort to stop another giggle, and he found himself grinning like a loser. "But still, why's it so funny?"

Rachel brushed her fingers through Finn's messy brown hair (he insisted that he needed a trim, but she was a strong advocate for a thick head of hair), and silently savoured the murmuring noise that rumbled in Finn's chest; he was like a big, lovable cat. "I don't know. I wasn't really expecting such a confession, and honestly?" She leaned down to kiss his forehead before whispering, "it's _super_ hot."

Finn sat up instantly, almost smacking his head into Rachel's shoulder. "Want me to eat this one?" Only the feel of Rachel's slender fingers around his wrist stopped him from swallowing the pinecone whole 'cause he could _totally_ feel a make out session coming up.

"Finn, I was kidding!" she scolded, shaking her head in disbelief, "I don't think pinecones are hot! I swear, boys are only obsessed with sex sex sex!"

Finn rubbed at his neck awkwardly, mumbling to himself. _She_ was the one that had joked about it! He didn't bother complaining though 'cause no matter how hard he tried to convince himself otherwise, angry Rachel was all kinds of sexy. "Well what's funny then?" he asked quietly.

It was Rachel's turn to shrug. "Most of the things that come out of your mouth are adorable, and the image of a younger Finn imitating a cow..." She shivered a little, despite the surprisingly warm weather, and Finn felt a smirk pull at his lips. "It's cute... Oh!" Finn jumped at Rachel's outburst, and raised an eyebrow at her while she waved her hands in the idea. "I've just had an excellent thought!" She stood up and pulled on Finn's arm in an attempt to make him stand up while she smiled brightly, smoothing down her skirt in the process. "We can decorate your pinecone! My daddy and I always used to decorate pinecones! I have a box _full_ of glitter and sequins at home, and they make great additions to _any _room! Let's go!"

Rachel skipped towards Finn's truck, animatedly talking to herself about the best way to apply glitter and stickers, leaving Finn to gather up their picnic supplies. As he forced the blanket into his rucksack, he glanced now and again at the pinecone that was sitting on the grass, gazing up at him in like it was mocking him. When he felt his stomach rumble, Finn was tempted to throw the damn thing in the pond; only Rachel Berry could persuade him to decorate a fucking pinecone.

**Glee!**

"Okay, here we are! I used to have quite an extensive collection of glitter tubes, but over the years I've used them in all _sorts_ of projects, and I've never gotten round to replenishing my supplies." Rachel dropped her box of sparkly materials on the bed beside Finn, smiling as she rummaged through the cornucopia of dazzle. "Isn't glitter wonderful Finn?" she said with a sigh as she held a tube of red glitter in the air.

Finn gave an awkward nod. "Yeah, it's cool, it's my favourite metally, shiny dust... stuff."

Rachel was too busy fawning over the colours to detect the lack of enthusiasm in his reply. "It's such a simple material, and yet it can enhance so many things! Outfits, makeup, crafts, hairstyles..." She sighed again as she stood in front of Finn and twirled around on the spot, holding countless glittering tubes in her hands. "When I win my first Tony, I want them to drop gold glitter from the ceiling so that my body is drenched in shine, and people will forever remember me as the girl who _literally_ shone above everyone else."

Finn managed a small yawn, being careful to hide it from his girlfriend. "Yeah, sounds good, it'll be good." He rubbed at his eyes and took a look inside the box filled with supplies and winced; all the shiny things were giving him a headache. "So, let's decorate the pinecone!" He pressed the little wooden thing on her bed and looked at her expectantly because she was the creative one; all he planned to do was feel her up once they were done.

"Of course!" she said, practically singing as she took a seat beside him. She picked up the pinecone, and as she examined every nook and cranny, she held out a hand towards Finn. "Glue please."

"Glue please," Finn imitated with a chuckle, handing her the tube, "it reminds me of a surgeon or something. Scalpel please. Clamp please. Glue please."

Rachel bit her lip with a smile as she carefully applied dots of glue across the protruding bumps of the pinecone. "Could you hand me the silver glitter please? I think that will go well with your bedroom."

Finn didn't argue with that since he was too busy wondering where he could hide the damn thing when he got home. He was so busy wondering this, in fact, that as he gave her the pot of silver glitter, he didn't realise that he'd unscrewed the cap, and therefore didn't realise that it was going to go all over Rachel.

One second, the silvery dust was sitting happily in its container, and then the next, it had covered Rachel from head to toe, sparing no part of her body as it drifted in the air, coating her in a shimmering shine.

Finn knew he shouldn't have laughed. He knew that Rachel was probably gonna be pissed for a bunch of reasons (she had it in her mouth, she'd used up her entire supply of silver glitter, she'd gotten it everywhere except the pinecone), but as she glowered and sparkled at the same time, there was no _way_ he could resist.

At first it was a tiny squeak that could have been disguised as a gasp, but as Rachel's eyes widened and her hands rolled into tiny, angry fists, Finn lost any ounce of control that he had. His whole body rippled with laughter, and man, he couldn't even laugh quietly 'cause the more he stared, the funnier everything became, especially since he was trying to stop himself from making a sound. A loud, booming laugh erupted from his chest, and the more that Rachel glowered, the more hilarious it became.

"Finn, this isn't the time to be-" Rachel stopped yelling to rub at her tongue, which was somehow coated in glitter. "This isn't the time to be laughing! I'm _covered!_"

Cue more uncontrollable laughter, and as soon as Rachel complained that there was glitter all over her bed and floor, Finn had to calm himself down in case he had a laughter-induced heart attack or something.

"Here, let me, um..." He chuckled, mainly to himself since Rachel looked like she was going to explode in a manic rage, and brushed his hands across her face, wiping away a little of the glitter. "If it's any consolidation, you look really awesome."

Rachel managed a bashful giggle. "_Consolation_, Finn, and I... you think so?"

Even through all of the silvery shine, Finn could see the way her cheeks lit up with happiness, and he had to remind himself to breathe 'cause he _loved_ it when she blushed. "Yeah," he said honestly, unconsciously licking his lips, "you look all kinds of awesome, but you have a little bit of-" Finn brushed his thumb against her cheek before slowly running it along her lips, which hadn't escaped the glittery downpour. On cue, Rachel opened her mouth slightly, and was met with a tender, needy kiss that left her breathless and dizzy and content, despite the less-than-perfect circumstances.

"Finn, you have glitter on you too," she whispered with a grin as she gently pressed a finger to his swollen lips.

Finn shrugged and pulled her down onto the bed with a coy smile. "Let's see if we can get glitter all _over_ my body."

Rachel was about to scold him for being so suggestive, but was thwarted by another collision with his mouth. She happily rolled onto him, straddling his waist as she peppered kisses across his neck, and as Finn let out a guttural moan, she felt her stomach tighten in response. "You like that baby?" she whispered in her best seductive voice.

Finn nodded, then let out a small, exasperated laugh. "No, yeah, I like kissing you but um..." He pushed a hand under his back, groaned a little, then produced a mess of splinters and shine. "I think I just squashed the pinecone."


End file.
